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5 MINUTES WITH CRISTALLE HAYES: ‘We can be angry mothers and safe, loving, nurturing mothers.’

November 23 2021

We’re excited to be working with psychotherapist Cristalle Hayes on the campaign for her new book, Angry Mother Assertive Mother: From Maternal Anger to Radical Repair. We asked Cristalle our 5 questions to find out more about her, her book, and her vision: 


1. Pitch in 10 - Sell us your book in less than 10 words

Express your maternal anger safely and assertively whilst repairing afterwards.

2. Audience of One - If you could choose ONE person to read your book who would it be and why? 

My audience of one would be Alex in the Netflix show Maid. A mother who is feeling overwhelmed and alone and out of control. A mother feeling many intense and powerful feelings and yet still trying to be a good mum. She is a mother who could use some compassion and access to self-care and support as well as some support in being more assertive with her anger. Or Donald Trump, a parent who has far too much un-reflected rage!

3. Behind the Book - Who or what inspired you to write this book?

As cliched as it sounds, my children inspired me to write the book. I am sure I am not alone in feeling that I want to be the best mum I can be to my children and if my anger is getting in the way of that then I need to figure out how to navigate my anger whilst being a mother to my lovely boys. I grew up afraid of anger and I never wanted to be an angry mother as I felt that would make me an unsafe mother. Not wanting to be an unsafe rageful mother to my boys inspired me to write the book. I have now learnt through speaking to many inspirational mothers that we can be angry mothers and safe, loving, nurturing mothers. There is space for both.

4. Guess what? Tell us one thing that readers might be surprised to hear about you. 

I am the daughter of a successful record producer who always encouraged me to step in the spotlight and use my voice. I have spent many hours in a recording studio growing up and from that perspective have seen the many different ways humans express their emotions.

I am mildly dyspraxic which means I cannot ride a bike.

5. The next chapter - What’s next for you?

The next chapter! I want to write more around how childhood trauma impacts us as adults and as mothers. My next book is going to be empowering women to think, feel and speak after childhood abuse and trauma.

I am also starting a podcast with a male colleague (who is also a parent) around parental anger and communication.

I am developing an online course on paternal anger for parents.

To get a review copy or to book in an interview, contact Durga Bradley at durga@thebookpublicist.co.uk

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